Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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