that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
