How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
