Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
