Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
