I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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