He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
