just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
NoShamevember. You game?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
