I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
is it fun? or sober?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
