So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize