I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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