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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.

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• (650): View more from California

  Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th

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• (631): View more from New York

  I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed

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• (714): View more from California

  I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.

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• (845): View more from New York

  He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.

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