I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
