Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
