Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
