He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
