omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
