these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
