Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
