I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Randomize
