Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
