Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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