For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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