carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
its liver damage thursday
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