Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
