RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
