I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
