You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
