clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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