Welp...herpes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
