problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
