Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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