My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
