How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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