i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
