if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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