you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
