there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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