How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
