from now on my penis is your penis
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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