I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
