textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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