I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
