So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
