bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
