So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
