I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
