I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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