I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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