I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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