yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
