Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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