This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
