I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
